Fred Fearnot's Day, or The Great Reunion at Avon
GRINS AND CHUCKLES
"Tell me," said the lady to the old soldier, "were you cool in battle?" "Cool?" said the truthful veteran, "why, I fairly shivered."
Mr. Henpeck-- Are you the man who gave my wife a lot of impudence? Mr. Scrapper-- I am. Mr. Henpeck-- Shake! You're a hero!
"Why are you in such a bad humor to-day, Gladys?" "Oh, it's too bad! Our maid is ill and my poor old mother has to do all the work."
Friend-- Is your son still pursuing his studies at college? Father (regretfully)-- he must be, for he doesn't seem to be catching up with them.
"While I was abroad I witnessed a duel in France." "Anybody hurt?-" "Yes; one of the principals had a rib broken embracing the other after the combat was over."
"I see by the news papers," remarked Redder, "that the farmers in Canada are sending out appeals for wives." "Is that so?" ejaculated Hennypeck, in an eager whisper. "They can have mine."
Bob-- What did the lecturer say when you threw those cabbages at him? Dick-- Oh, he said he had hoped the audience would be pleased, but he really hadn't expected the audience would entirely lose their heads.
"My wife is learning to cook by correspondence course. She writes, and asks how to mix biscuits and they reply by return mail." "What if the biscuits are in danger of burning after she gets them in the oven?" "Then she telegraphs."
It was commencement evening. A youth rose to deliver his oration. His subject was "Light." He began "In the beginning God said, 'Let there be light: and there was light.' Now let us consider some of the modern improvements."