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Sesquipedalian #25

the SESQUIPEDALIAN 				       Volume V, No. 25
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Bring Your Daughter to Work Day			         April 27, 1995


		   GRADUATE STATUS: THE WARNING SIGNS

You just might be a graduate student if...

	...you can identify universities by their internet domains.
	...you are constantly looking for a thesis in novels.
	...you have difficulty reading anything without footnotes.
	...you understand jokes about Foucault.
	...the concept of free time scares you.
	...you consider caffeine one of the four food groups.
	...you've ever brought books with you on vacation AND actually
	   studied.
	...Saturday nights spent studying no longer seem weird.
	...the professor doesn't show up for class and you discuss
	   the readings anyway.
	...you've ever travelled across a national boundary
	   specifically to go to a library.
	...you appreciate the fact that you get to choose *which*
	   twenty hours of the day you have to work.
	...you still feel guilty about giving students low grades
	   (you'll get over it).
	...you can read course books and cook at the same time.
	...you schedule events for academic vacations so your friends
	   can come.
	...you hope it snows during Spring Break so you can get more
	   studying in.
	...you've ever worn out a library card.
	...you find yourself taking notes in a park relaxing.
	...you find yourself citing sources in conversation.
	...you've ever sent a personal letter with footnotes.

(Submitted by Linda Uyechi)

		    ^\^\^\ LOOK WHO'S TALKING /^/^/^

-- Abdullahi Bature (Professor, Department of Nigerian Languages,
Bayero State University, and Ph.D. Stanford 1991) is here as a
visiting scholar and consultant to Will Leben's NEH project,
'Contemporary Hausa Language and Culture.'  Bature will be here
through the end of June.

-- AFRICA TABLE: The Spring joint Berkeley-Stanford Center for African
Studies conference ("Whither Africa: Second Liberation or Sustained
Subordination?  Economic, Political, Cultural and Social
Perspectives") takes place this Saturday, April 29th.  John Mugane
will be moderating the panel discussion, 'Language, Communication,
Education' and also participates as a panel member with Adams Bodomo,
presenting 'Language and Democracy in Sub-Saharan Africa.'  Renneth
Mano (Food Research Institute and SLP) will be presenting 'Smallholder
Cattle Management Decisions and the Question of Sustainability in
Zimbabwe's Communal Areas.'

 	          ^/^/^/ LINGUISTICS COLLOQUIUM \^\^\^

              Stanford Linguistics Department Colloquium
                   Friday, April 28, 1995, 3:30 PM
                             Cordura 100
                          Reception follows

                           Johanna Nichols
                 University of California at Berkeley

                  Shaped by some common contingency:
               Historically but not genetically related

        Demonstrable genetic relatedness requires (among other things)
that the languages in question share one or more structures whose
abstract likelihood of occurrence is significantly less than that of
any one particular language turning up on a random draw.  The critical
threshold is a probability of 0.000002 (i.e. one in 500,000, assuming
approximately 5000 languages on earth), which for all practical
purposes identifies a unique individual language. A feature meeting
this critical probability threshold is a GENETIC MARKER; it points to
a single, unique ancestor and therefore more or less suffices to prove
genetic relatedness between languages.  But there are also features
which, though shy of the critical threshold and thus not demonstrably
traceable to a single individual protolanguage, nonetheless cannot be
due to either chance or universals.  Such features can be considered
HISTORICAL MARKERS, since they show that languages must have had some
shared history, even though we cannot say that that history involved
shared descent.  Historical markers are most interesting when shared
between language families, for they can demonstrate some kind of
connection and hence generate historical inferences or hypotheses even
when the comparative method cannot demonstrate strict genetic
relatedness.
        This paper describes the statistical, geographical, and structural
properties of genetic and historical markers, presents several examples,
and maps their geographical distribution.  Defining the statistical
properties requires showing that, for low-frequency structural features
like ergativity, split intransitivity, derived intransitivity, gender
classes, articles, etc., in some of them the low observed worldwide
frequency is close to the expected frequency, while for others it is high
relative to the expected frequency.  The features that are good historical
markers on statistical grounds also exhibit large-scale geographical
clusterings that identify ancient vectors of colonization, migration, and
spread.  Finally, the best historical markers are also among some of the
most revealing typological features. 

A schedule for Linguistics Colloquiums can be found on the World-Wide
Web at URL http://bhasha.stanford.edu/~kessler/colloq/colloq.html

	            ^\^\^\ CALL FOR PAPERS /^/^/^

-- BUCLD-XX: The 20th Annual Boston University Conference on Language
Development (November 3, 4 and 5, 1995).  All topics in the field of
language acquisition will be fully considered, including:
Bilingualism, Literacy, Cognition & Language, Narrative, Creoles &
Pidgins, Neurolinguistics, Discourse, Pragmatics, Exceptional
Language, Pre-linguistic Development, Input & Interaction, Signed
Languages, Language Disorders, Sociolinguistics, Lexicon, Speech
Perception & Production, Linguistic Theory (Syntax, Semantics,
Phonology, Morphology).  WE ARE EXTENDING THE SUBMISSIONS DEADLINE TO
THE CONFERENCE TO MONDAY, MAY 8.  We have received a number of
complaints about the lateness of our mailed call for papers, traced
mainly to processing delays with the University's mail services.  In
the interest of fairness we have decided to extend the deadline for
submissions by one week, to May 8.  Abstracts submitted must represent
original, unpublished research.  Presentations will be 20 minutes
long, plus 10 minutes for questions.  Please submit (1) six copies of
an anonymous, clearly titled 450-word summary for review; (2) one copy
of a 150-word abstract for use in conference program book if abstract
is accepted; (if your paper is accepted, you will be asked to resubmit
your 150-word abstract in electronic form, either on diskette or by
e-mail.  Requests for these program abstracts will be sent with
acceptance letters.)  (3) one 3 x 5 card stating i) title, ii) topic
area, iii) audiovisual requests, and iv) for EACH author: a) Full name
& affiliation d) Summer address & phone b) Current address & phone e)
Summer e-mail address c) E-mail address f) Fax number.  Please include
a self-addressed, stamped postcard for acknowledgment of receipt.
Notification of acceptance or rejection will be sent by late July.
Pre-registration materials and preliminary schedule will be available
in late August 1995.  All authors who present papers at the conference
will be invited to contribute their papers to the Proceedings Volumes.
Those papers will be due in January, 1996.  Note: All conference
papers will be selected on the basis of abstracts submitted. Although
each abstract will be evaluated individually, we will attempt to honor
requests to schedule accepted papers together in group sessions.
Submissions must be received by May 8, 1995.  Send submissions to:
      Boston University
      Conference on Language Development
      138 Mountfort Street
      Boston, MA 02215  U.S.A.
      Telephone: (617) 353-3085
      E-mail: langconf@louis-xiv.bu.edu
              info@louis-xiv.bu.edu (automated reply)
(WE REGRET THAT WE CANNOT ACCEPT ABSTRACT SUBMISSIONS BY FAX OR E-MAIL.)

-- DIGS 4: 4TH DIACHRONIC GENERATIVE SYNTAX CONFERENCE (UNIVERSITE DU
QUEBEC A MONTREAL) October 31-November 2, 1995.  PAPERS focusing on,
but not limited to) syntactic or morphosyntactic change and
variation,creole formation, are solicited.  We also plan to hold a
workshop on theoretical and methological aspects of corpus-based
analysis.  Abstracts are invited for 30 minute talks. Each talk will
be followed by a ten minute discussion period.  Send FIVE copies of an
anonymous one-page abstract.  Abstracts should be clearly titled.
Send ONE extra camera ready version with name and affiliation.
Include a 3x5 card with this information:  1) name, 2) paper title, 3)
affiliation, 4) mailing address, 5) e-mail address, 6)phone number, 7)
audio-visual needs.  Mail all abstracts  to the following address:
	DIGS 4 1995
	Departement de linguistique
	Universite du Quebec a Montreal
	CP 8888, Succ. Centre-ville,
	Montreal, Canada H3C 3P8
We are unable to accept fax or e-mail submissions.  Abstracts MUST BE
RECEIVED by JULY 8, 1995.  Further information about accomodations and
conference rates will be sent in a subsequent message.  For additional
information: e-mail DIGS4@UQAM.CA or http://www.ling.uqam.ca

 	          ^/^/^/ SYMBOLIC SYSTEMS FORUM \^\^\^

                           Thursday, April 27				     
                          Stanford  University				     
                              Bldg. 60-61F				     
                                 4:15 pm				     

                   A MODEL OF HUMAN SENTENCE PROCESSING:		     
                        ABLE TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE?			     
                                Charles Lee				     
                         Department of Linguistics			     

	There have been numerous models proposed to model human
sentence parsing (Frazier & Fodor 1978, Church 1982, Marcus 1980,
Abney 1989, Jurafsky 1993).  A brief discussion of these models and
their limitations and undersireable qualities will be presented.
	This talk will introduce a model for human sentence parsing
(i.e.  performance rather than competence parsing) which does not have
these same limitations or undesirable qualities.  The proposed model
has the basic properties of a Turing Machine with non-deterministic
control.  This model is capable of making fine distinctions between
various types of sentences, which are difficult for humans to parse,
which past models fail to distinguish.  For example:
  (1) a. I gave the boy who you wanted to give the books to three books.
      b. Without her donations failed to appear.
  (2) a. I crashed the car which you thought Bill gave to you up.
      b. I gave the girl who you thought Bill liked a book.
  (3) a. After the man drank the water proved to be poisoned.
      b. Without her donations to the charity failed to appear.
  (4) a. The man gave the girl a ring impressed a watch.
      b. The horse raced past the barn fell.
  (5) a. The mouse the cat the dog barked at chased is mine.
      b. men women children dogs bark at adore love are rare.
The proposed human parsing model was implemented as a computer program
and will be demonstrated at this talk, illustrating how this model is
able to make the distinctions between the above sentences.

		     ^\^\^\ TRUE LINGUISTICS /^/^/^

MEANWHILE IN FRANCE...: Cecile Pork, 83, drove for twelve kilometers
with a cyclist spreadeagled across her windscreen, refusing to stop
because she thought he was a mugger.  Madame Pork, 83, hit the man at
a crossroads near Valence, catapulting him onto her bonnet where he
clung for dear life as she accelerated to 120 kph.  'She was shouting,
"Murderer, murderer,"' said the victim.  'I hammered on the windscreen
and screamed 'I'm a cyclist, I'm a cyclist,' but she just turned the
windscreen wipers on.'  She was eventually stopped by a police
road-block, but remained unrepentant.  'My only regret,' she later
declared, 'is that I didn't drive into a wall and squash him like a
truffle.'  (AP)

		     ^/^/^/ JOB ANNOUNCEMENTS \^\^\^

(REDUNDANCY NOTICE: For fuller listings of these and other jobs, don't
forget to check the Jobs binder in the Greenberg Room, and the file
'jobslist.txt' on the CSLI directory /user/linguistics.)

-- America's most successful ESL/EFL/FL publisher, Heinle & Heinle is
growing fast. As we continue to capture greater market share, we're
seeking an ambitious professional to help write the next chapter of
our success.  We seek an experienced multimedia professional to
spearhead our interactive software and CD-ROM production products. In
this challenging role, you will create an end-to-end production
environment, specifying computers, system software, authoring
software, art creation software, and tools for digital video
production. To succeed, you must have a technical degree and practical
multimedia experience, including familiarity with multimedia formats,
standards, and cross-platform development between Mac and Windows.
Candidates must be fluent in Director, Authorware, Toolbook or Visual
Basic and comprehend their differences. Proven management skills and
FL competency desired. Experience as a project leader or major
contributor to a commercial CD-ROM product would be a plus.  Please
forware resume with salary requirements to
     Peggy Whynot
     Heinle & Heinle Publishers
     20 Park Plaza
     Boston MA 02116
An Equal Opportunity Employer.  Minorities are enouraged to apply.

(REDUNDANCY NOTICE: For fuller listings of these and other jobs, don't
forget to check the Jobs binder in the Greenberg Room, and the file
'jobslist.txt' on the CSLI directory /user/linguistics.)

 	                ^/^/^/ INSTA-PRIZE \^\^\^

GREAT MOMENTS IN HISTORY: Who invented cat litter?

Solution to IT'S HARD TO BE FAMOUS...: 'It's hard to be funny when you
have to be clean.' -- the dithyrambic Mae West.


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                    ^\^\^\ CONSERVE DISK SPACE /^/^/^

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before you've read it), the Sesquipedalian Weekly Herald is stored
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at Berkeley (in the directory /usr/pub.)  The most current issue of
the Herald can be found by typing 'help quip'.

Neither Stanford University nor the Linguistics Department, nor any of
their employees, makes any warranty, whatsoever, implied, or assumes
any legal liability or responsibility regarding any information,
disclosed, in this publication, or represents that its use would not
infringe privately owned rights.  No specific reference constitutes or
implies endorsement, recommendation, or favoring by Stanford
University or the Linguistics Department, or their employees.  Any
similarity to actual linguists, living or dead, is purely
coincidental.  The views and opinions expressed herein do not
necessarily reflect those of Stanford University or the Linguistics
Department, or their employees, and shall not be used for advertising
or product endorsement purposes.

'If anyone finds this offensive, I am prepared not only to retract my
words, but also to deny under oath that I ever said them.' -- Tom Lehrer

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