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Sesquipedalian #6

the SESQUIPEDALIAN 				       Volume VI, No. 6
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Sadie Hawkins Day				       November 2, 1995


	Friday I was talking to my friend Johnson from the CDC, who
told me that the CDC had been doing an epidemiological study of
clustered RSI cases among computer scientists.  He said that they've
been waiting to act until their internal review process is completed,
but it seems that there is indeed an infectious agent causing RSI.
But it's not a biological agent.  It's software.

	"In particular," Johnson told me, "the significant vector
among academics is Emacs."

	"Emacs?" I gasped.

	"Oh yes," he continued; "Didn't you ever notice that two of
the first people in the computer science community around MIT who
suffered from RSI were Richard Stallman and Bernie Greenberg?  What
were those people implementing fifteen or twenty years ago?  That's
what tipped us off."

	We were having lunch at the cafeteria at Moffett Field.
Johnson watched my hands throughout the meal.  "Hey buddy.  You're
still doing okay anyway, aren't you?  It's good to see that.  Really
good."  He smiled, then looked at his watch and asked, "Walk me to the
terminal, will you?"

	I accompanied him to the little facility where crew-cut young
men in uniform and their dependents, trailer-park girls with squawling
babies, sat around waiting for MAC flights to other military
facilities.  A black helicopter, curiously silent, was waiting on the
tarmac outside, its rotors turning lazily in the sunlight.  "Ah,
that'd be my flight," said Johnson.  "Old Uncle Sam always sends you
first-class, ha ha."

	We shook hands.  A little anxiously, I asked, "But what will
you do about it?  About the epidemic?"

	Johnson paused before answering.  He looked outside at the
black helicopter.  The pilot had seen him now; in his helmet and visor
he appeared strangely insectile as he regarded Johnson patiently.  I
noticed the booms extending from the sides of the helicopter, where
standardized weapons pods could be attached.  "Patrick, old buddy,"
said Johnson playfully, "Back in high school people said you were
smart, but I never thought you had an ounce of sense in your head.
Listen: our charter is to protect the people of the United States of
America by containing epidemics and eliminating disease.  We have
many... tools... at our disposal.  Why don't you take a break for a
while?  Go someplace where people don't use Emacs.  Where they never
heard of Emacs.  Don't take it with you.  Go to Hawaii -- better yet
-- go to Redmond.  Okay?"  He punched my shoulder, smiling.  I winced.

	Then he strode out onto the tarmac, giving a thumbs-up to the
pilot, who spun up the turbines.  There was almost no noise.  I didn't
wait to watch them take off.

[anonymous]
(Good luck, Lynn!)

		      -/-\-/ LOOK WHO'S TALKING /-\-/-

-- Linda Uyechi will be speaking at the November UCD linguistics
colloquium on Nov. 10.  Topic: 'Re-orienting Type-2 Signs in ASL.'

-- CORRECTION TO THE CORRECTION: Last week it was mistakenly reported
that Jennifer Rothblatt is the only Linguistics MA student in this
department.  It has been brought to our attention that Stuart Tannock
is also a Linguistics MA... anything else we can screw up??

 	            -\-/-\ LINGUISTICS COLLOQUIUM \-/-\-

                           Friday, Nov. 3, 3:30 pm.
                              Dieter Wunderlich
                    Heinrich-Heine-Universitaet, Duesseldorf

		     Constructing Inflectional Paradigms

   A child who is confronted with a consistent set of inflectional word
forms is more likely to identify the basic vocabulary (i.e., the set
of stems and affixes) on the basis of a number of pairwise minimal
contrasts between individual word forms than on the basis of comparing
whole sets of word forms or on the basis of resetting all the previous
knowledge if additional forms are acquired. If that is true, a number
of quite powerful devices proposed in the recent literature on
inflectional morphology (such as rules of referral, impoverishment,
affix templates and categorial signatures) are ruled out. 
   In this talk, I will assume a representational system in which
stems and affixes are maximally underspecified with respect to the
categories they express. The combinatorics of stems and affixes is
only restricted by a few locality principles in terms of <input,
output> and may thus be overgenerating. However, on the basis of the
information already available in the word forms, a paradigm can be
constructed by which the optimal word forms are selected from the set
of candidate word forms. Paradigm construction is considered to be a
recursive device that is constrained by the requirement that each cell
of a paradigm must be uniquely occupied in accordance with an ordered
set of selection principles.
   The question of what a possible paradigm is must be answered in
terms of the organization of the inflectional categories that are used
in the paradigm construction. It will be shown that the adopted model
of Minimalist Morphology makes certain predictions about the
'goodness' of paradigms.
--------------
Reception follows.
For directions and a complete list of colloquia, see 
http://www-linguistics.stanford.edu/~kessler/colloq/

                 -\-/-\ FELLOWSHIPS/ASSISTANTSHIPS \-/-\-

-- H&S GRADUATE RESEARCH: Thanks to an allocation from the President's
Fund, research grants of up to $5000 are available for special
research costs directly related to the dissertation topic, for
doctoral students in the social sciences, humanities, and the School
of Education.  These awards will be incremental to current department
fellowship support.  The following expense categories will be
considered appropriate for these funds: travel costs associated with
work in libraries or archives away from stanford or field research;
other special project costs such as purchase of datasets or the
expenses of producing questionaires and surveys.  The following
expense categories will NOT be considered appropriate for these funds:
payment to undergraduates, equipment purchase, travel costs for
dependents and spouses, travel costs for job interviews, dissertation
write-up grants, data entry or transcription costs, health insurance.
Applications will be accepted quarterly by the deadlines below and
will be awarded quarterly on a competitive basis by a faculty
committee.  Please complete an application cover sheet and attach a
detailed description of the project (no more than 2 pages), detailed
budget including expected external awards, cover letter of support
from academic advisor, and copy of current transcript, to Jackie
Vargo, Dean's Office, Humanities and Sciences, Bldg 1.  Deadlines for
applications: December 1, March 1.

-- POSTDOCTORAL FELLOWSHIP OPPORTUNITY: The Cognitive Neurosciences
program at the University of Arizona is seeking to fill a one- to
two-year post-doctoral fellowship position, beginning in Spring, 1996.
We are interested in applications from researchers in the field of
cognitive development; areas of interest include language, concepts,
number, space, and theory of mind. Application review will begin in
Nov., 1995; applications accepted until the position is filled. The
University of Arizona is an AA/EEO employer; minority and women
candidates are encouraged to apply.  Email queries can be sent to
bloom@u.arizona.edu or to wynn@ccit.arizona.edu. Application
materials, including 2-3 letters of reference, should go to Paul
Bloom, Department of Psychology, University of Arizona, Tucson, AZ,
85721.

	            -\-/-\ SOCIOLINGUISTICS RAP \-/-\-

-- The next Socio Rap takes place Thursday evening (TONIGHT), at which
Norma Mendoza-Denton will discuss her dissertation research.  The
session will be at the home of Penny Eckert, and will begin at 6:30.
Please RSVP to her (eckert@csli) for directions and for the pizza
order.

	               -\-/-\ CALL FOR PAPERS \-/-\-

-- SLRF '96: Oct. 25-28, 1996, University of Arizona.  Conference
Theme: Crossing Disciplinary Boundaries.  The Ph.D. Program in Second
Language Acquisition and Teaching (SLAT) at the University of Arizona
has been selected to host the Second Language Research Forum in 1996.
Papers on all topics in the field of Second Language Acquisition and
Teaching are welcome, but presentations addressing the conference
theme are strongly encouraged.  Abstracts are invited for individual
or joint papers or posters on topics in L2 analysis, L2 processes, L2
use, and L2 pedagogy/program administration.  Individual papers will
be 20 minutes long with 5 minutes for discussion. Submissions should
include (a) three anonymous copies of an abstract (500 words max.);
(b) one copy stating the name of the author(s) and affiliation(s); (c)
a 50-word summary of the presentation to be included in the conference
program if accepted; (d) a typed 3"x 5" card bearing the title of the
paper/poster and the name(s), affiliation(s), phone number(s),
snailmail and e-mail address(es) of the author(s). Please indicate in
the upper righthand corner of your abstract whether it should be
considered for the paper or the poster sessions. Please also indicate
whether you would like email acknowledgement of receipt of the
proposal. If you have any questions regarding the submission
guidelines, please send them to: SLRF96@ccit.arizona.edu.  Send
abstracts of papers or posters to
	Abstract Committee
	SLRF '96
	c/o Second Language Acquisition and Teaching (SLAT)
	Modern Languages 347
	University of Arizona
	Tucson, AZ 85721
Deadline for abstracts to reach the SLRF '96 Abstract Committee: March
15, 1996, 5pm. No late proposals will be considered. We will accept no
e-mail or fax submissions. Notification of acceptance will be sent in
late April.

	             -\-/-\ TRUE LINGUISTICS \-/-\-

Today's special: SPAM Haikus.

        Pink tender morsel,
        Glistening with salty gel.
        What the hell is it?

        -----------

        Ears, snouts and innards,
        A homogeneous mass.
        Pass another slice.

        -----------

        Cube of cold pinkness
        Yellow specks of porcine fat.
        Give me a spork please.

        ------------

        Old man seeks doctor.
        "I eat SPAM daily", he says.
        Angioplasty.

        -----------

        Highly unnatural,
        The tortured shape of this "food".
        A small pink coffin.

[LaughWEB]
		     -\-/-\ JOB ANNOUNCEMENTS \-/-\-

(REDUNDANCY NOTICE: For fuller listings of these and other jobs, don't
forget to check the Jobs binder in the Greenberg Room, and the file
'jobslist.txt' on the CSLI directory /user/linguistics.)

-- THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS AT AUSTIN: The Department of Linguistics at
the University of Texas at Austin will have a tenure-track position
for a specialist in phonetics effective September 1, 1996.  Expected
duties: (a) teaching of undergraduate and graduate courses in
phonetics; (b) direction of thesis and dissertation research in
phonetics; (c) original research in phonetics.  Minimum
qualifications: (a) Ph.D. or near completion of Ph.D. in phonetics;
(b) research and publication in phonetics; (c) excellent communication
skills in English.  If all Ph.D. requirements are completed by August
20, 1996, appointment will be at the rank of Assistant Professor.
Otherwise, appointment will be at the rank of Instructor. Persons
interested in such a position should send a curriculum vitae, sample
publications, and three letters of recommendation to:
	Phonetics Search Committee 
	Department of Linguistics 
	The University of Texas at Austin 
	Austin, TX 78712-1196.
The deadline for receipt of application materials is December 1, 1995.
The University of Texas at Austin
is an Equal Opportunity/Affirmative Action Employer.

-- Graduate position in conceptual information retrieval.  A position
is available, within a research team working on leading-edge systems
of e-mail management and conceptual information retrieval, for a
researcher to work in Conceptual Lexicography. His/her background will
include one or more of the following: Cognitive Science,
Psycholinguistics, Lexicography, Cognitive Grammar, Computational
Linguistics (not Chomskyan or neo-Chomskyan), Neurolinguistics, or
Semantics. It would also be a definite asset for the candidate to have
some skills in computing.  The parts of the project in which he/she
will be working will involve the application of a comprehensive system
of conceptual codes to the construction and use of meaning profiles
and conceptual lexicons in the development of one or more products.
The individual will be expected to work closely with three other
lexicographers, and to liaise with all other members of the team. In
addition to having a degree related to at least one of the above
areas, the applicant should be able to establish his/her ability to
conduct research, and to demonstrate a clear and definite interest in
this research area.  If you are interested in this position, we will
have an initial telephone conversation with you. In the first
instance, however, please e-mail, fax or mail your CV, along with a
cover letter, and include a phone number where you can be reached for
a confidential conversation, as soon as possible before November 10,
to the following
	Douglas A. Young
	Director of Research
	CM Projects
	Dataware Technologies
	One Antares Drive
	Nepean, Ontario, K2E 8C4
	Canada
	Fax: (613) 225-2304
	Email: dyoung@dataware.com

-- NLP POSITIONS: Positions available: Visiting Scientist/Postdoc
(Ph.D.) and/or Research Associate (M.Sc or equivalent) in Human
Centric Applications and Solution Group at IBM T.J.Watson Research
Center.  Both positions are temporary for 1-2 years. The research
topics center around natural language processing and multimodal
collaboration.  Both positions require familiarity with methods and
tools of computational linguistics, and experience or interests in
applications development using natural language or speech technology.
Good programming skills (C/C++, prolog or lisp) are essential.  Please
send you resume (and/or inquiries) to
	 Wlodek Zadrozny
	 IBM T.J.Watson Research Center,
	 P.O. BOX 704
	 Yorktown Heights, NY 10598.
	 fax: (914)  784 7455
	 e-mail: wlodz@watson.ibm.com

-- FAR EAST PROGRAM MANAGER FOR NATURAL LANGUAGE GROUP: Natural
Language Group's mission is to acquire, design, and develop components
that enable Microsoft products to understand information expressed in
natural human languages.  We are currently looking for a Far East
Program Manager.  The positions will be located on the Microsoft
central campus in Redmond, Washington, USA.  The FE PM's primary
responsibility is to manage the joint efforts being done between the
Natural Language Group in Redmond and the Microsoft subsidiaries in
Japan, China, Taiwan, and Korea.  These efforts include (a) design and
development of word breakers and morphology engines, (b) acquisition
of linguistic data including word lists, dictionaries, pronunciations,
and example text, and (c) design and development of grammars that can
parse the far eastern languages.  Applicant must have 3-5 years prior
work experience doing computational linguistics or computer science,
excellent project management skills and attention to details, love of
far eastern language and culture.  Fluency in multiple languages, a
degree in computer science, and the desire to travel are also highly
desirable features.  Please send resumes, cover letters, and any
additional materials to
	Angela Hollett, Human Resources
 	Microsoft Corporation
 	One Microsoft Way
 	Redmond, WA  98052
 	email: angieh@microsoft.com

BRIEFS:
 GSI_Erli: Charenton Cedex, France.  Natural language processing,
 computational linguistics. Must know French. Deadline 31 October.

 Univ. of CT:  Dept. of Linguistics, tenure-track open rank for experimental
 phonetics and phonological theory. Deadline 1 January.
 
 Cornell Univ.: Dept. of Modern Languages, tenure-track Assistant or
 Associate Professor in Applied Linguistics and East Asian Languages.
 Interviews conducted at MLA and LSA.
 
 Univ. of Cambridge: UK, Lectureship in English Language Applications in
 following areas: modern English, history of English Language, literary
 linguistics, corpus linguistics. Deadline 30 November.
 
 MIT: tenure-track Assistant Professor in phonology. Deadline 4 December.
 
 Utrecht Univ: The Netherlands, four graduate positions for research in
 syntax and semantics, morphology and phonology, computational linguistis
 and logic, and phonetics. No deadline given.
 
 Dataware Technologies: Ontario, Canada, graduate position in information
 retrieval to work in Conceptual Lecxicography with background in cognitive
 science, psycholinguistics, lexicography, cognitive grammar, computational
 linguistics, neurolinguistics or semantics. Deadline 10 November.
 
 Univ. of MD: tenure-track Assistant Professor in interdisciplinary language
 department for courses dealing with issues of language, communication
 and/or social organization in cultural and cross-cultural contexts. Native
 or near-native proficiency in Spanish and English. Deadline 1 December.
 
 Univ. of MD: Linguistics Department, tenure-track Assistant Professor in
 phonology. Deadline 1 December.
 
 Northern AZ Univ: English Department, Assistant Professor with
 specialization in Second Language Acquisition. Screening begins 15
 November.
 
 ETS: (Educational Testing Service), Princeton, NJ, the Reasoning Groups
 seeks linguistis interested in test development in area of writing and
 reviewing tests for entry into graduate and professional schools.
 Interviews conducted at LSA in San Diego.
 
 Univ. of NM : Department of Linguistics, tenure-track Assistant Professor
 in psycholinguistics.  Deadline 15 December.
 
 Hanyang Univ.: Seoul, Korea, Dept. of English, full-time instructors in
 English, Linguistics, ESL/EFL, Second Language Acquisition, Applied
 Linguistics or related discipline. Deadline 15 November.
 
 Univ. of NE: Dept. of Modern Languages and Literatures, Assistant Professor
 of Spanish with native or near-native proficiency in Spanish and English.
 Deadline 15 November.
 
 Sharp Laboratories: Europe Ltd., computer scientist in area of Language
 Technology, including computational linguistics. No deadline given.
 
 NY Univ:  Dept. of Linguistics, visiting Assistant Professor in phonology
 with research area on Asian and African languages. Deadline 15 January.
 
 San Francisco St. Univ.: Dept. of English Language and Literature,
 tenure-track Assistant Professor with specialization in Discourse Analysis.
 Deadline 15 January.
 
 UIUC: College of Agriculature, Cooperative Extension Service, four support
 positions: Extension Assistant, Computer Users Services; Visiting Extension
 Assistant, Internet Education; Extension Assistant, Computer Programmer -
 IDEA; Extension Assistant, Computer Programmer -PC Development. Deadline 6
 November.
 
 Univ. of SC: Linguistics Program, tenure-track Assistant Professor for
 second language acquisition theory, TEFL methodology and a strong
 background in general linguistics. Deadline 1 December.
 
 Univ. of Edinburgh: Chair of Applied Linguistics. No deadline given.
 
 Univ. of IA: Dept. of English, Cross-Disciplinary Program in Linguistics,
 tenure-track Assistant Professor of English to teach syntax, phonology,
 TESL and English. Deadline 1 December.

(REDUNDANCY NOTICE: For fuller listings of these and other jobs, don't
forget to check the Jobs binder in the Greenberg Room, and the file
'jobslist.txt' on the CSLI directory /user/linguistics.)

		        -/-\-/ INSTA-PRIZE /-\-/-

-- WHO'S DRIVING: On the Moscow-Petersburg train are three passengers
named Krutov, Larjanov, and Makarov.  By coincidence, the train's
engine-driver, cook, and guard have the same three last names.
	(1) Passenger Krutov lives in Moscow.
	(2) The guard lives halfway between Moscow and St. Petersburg.
	(3) The passenger with the same name as the guard lives in 
	    St. Petersburg.
	(4) The passenger who lives nearest the guard earns exactly
	    three times as much as the guard.
	(5) Passenger Larjanov earns 200 roubles a month.
	(6) The crew member named Makarov recently beat the cook at
	    billiards. 
What is the engine driver's last name?

Solution to PILLOW TOCK: Lewis Carroll's answer was 12 hours, 2
minutes, and 29 and 277/288 seconds!


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                    -\-/-\ CONSERVE DISK SPACE \-/-\-

So you may delete your copy after you've read it (or better yet,
before you've read it), the Sesquipedalian Weekly Herald is stored
online at Stanford (in directory /user/linguistics/Sesquip/), and
at Berkeley (in the directory /usr/pub.)  The most current issue of
the Herald can be found by typing 'help quip'.

Neither Stanford University nor the Linguistics Department, nor any of
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While pushing down turn 

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