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quip #13

the SESQUIPEDALIAN 				     Volume VII, No. 13
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National Nothing Day			               January 16, 1996


			     LIVING WITH SNAKES

	Since their natural habitat with its wide secret
	Night-long itinerary
	It is impossible for you to reproduce,
	Your snakes will be
	Unhappy living with you.  Though you give them
	Their stones and water,
	Sand, ultraviolet light, and hiding places
	Serve embryo mice 
	And daily (gently, gingerly) touch and soothe
	Their one-way scales,
	They will scarcely look at you without recoiling.
	Though you make a nest 
	In the branches of your stiffened hands and fingers,
	They will climb beyond it, 
	Searching for more than you at the end of you.
	What is it they want?
	Not simply to shed their skins or to escape
	From their pet master
	But to become what doesn't exist, to remain
	At length inside their bodies
	Yet to reach a place where they have none at all.
	Though you may offer
	The run of the house to them, from basement to attic,
	The hollows of your walls,
	The luxurious pillows of your insulation, 
	They will reappear
	Dissatisfied some pale morning, having been trailed
	Through those headlong retreats
	By their followers, by processions of rib cages,
	By their narrowest selves.

[David Wagoner in _The New Yorker_]


                      -\-/-\ LOOK WHO'S TALKING \-/-\-

-- JOB FAIR: There will be a job fair organized by the School of
Engineering on Saturday, January 25, from 10 to 4 on the 2nd floor of
Tresidder.  There will be 80 major companies represented and one of
them is Boeing.  Our friend from Boeing, Jim Hoard, just called me to
say that they are very interested to hire Stanford students and in
particular the ones affiliated with CSLI.  So please go check it out:
Saturday, Jan. 25, Tresidder, 2nd fl, from 10 to 4.  If you have
questions please contact Michele at 3-3084 or email to
mking@csli.stanford.edu.

 	            -/-\-/ LINGUISTICS COLLOQUIUM /-\-/-

No colloquium this week.
------------------
For directions and a complete list of colloquia, see
http://www-linguistics.stanford.edu/Linguistics/colloq/colloq.html

                    -/-\-/ SYMBOLIC SYSTEMS FORUM /-\-/-

   John Perry Barlow, founder of the Electronic Frontier Foundation,
                 Speaking on "Owning Free Speech"

   Thursday, January 16th, from 5 to 7 PM, in Building 260 room 113
       Southwest corner of the Main Quad, near the Clock Tower, 
          across from the Cubberly School of Education

PLEASE NOTE CHANGE OF TIME AND LOCATION:  This week's forum is a
Stanford Humanities Center Research Workshop on The Epistemiology of
Information Technology.  There will be an attendance sheet hanging outside
the door of the room on which people who are taking the class for credit 
should sign up.

                      -\-/-\ TRUE LINGUISTICS \-/-\-

A panda walks into an Old West saloon and growls "GIMME SOME FOOD!"
After wolfing down (panda-ing down?) the food, he draws a six-shooter,
fires a bullet at the piano player, and heads for the door.  The
bartender hollers "Hey! You just killed my piano player, and you
haven't paid me for the food!" The panda replies "Idiot!  I'm a
*panda*!  LOOK IT UP!"  And away he goes.
	The bartender looks up "panda" in the dictionary and finds:
"Large black-and-white mammal of Western China.  Eats shoots and
leaves."

-- Anonymous [no one wanted to take credit for this]

                     -\-/-\ JOB ANNOUNCEMENTS \-/-\-

(REDUNDANCY NOTICE: For fuller listings of these and other jobs, don't
forget to check the Jobs binder in the Greenberg Room, and the file
'jobslist.txt' on the CSLI directory /user/linguistics.)

-- UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND: The University of Maryland at College Park
announces a new position in Psychology/Neuropsychology of Language.
The position is tenure-track at the Assistant Professor level, to
begin in the fall semester of 1997.  This appointment bridges three
programs at UMCP: the Department of Linguistics, the Department of
Psychology, and the Program in Neuroscience and Cognitive Science.  We
seek candidates with established records of research excellenece who
are interested in working on topics in neurolinguistics and/or
psycholinguistics and who can teach courses in linguistics and
psychology, as well as interdisciplinary courses.  Ph.D. is required
by August, 1997.  For best consideration, applications should arrive
by February 1, 1997.  Applicants should send a complete dossier
(letter of application, CV, samples of published work) and arrange to
have three letters of recommendation sent to
	Professor Stephen Crain
	Chair, Search Committee
	University of Maryland at College Park
	1401 Marie Mount Hall
	College Park MD 20742
The University of Maryland is an AA/EO title IX employer.  Women and
minority candidates are especially encouraged to apply.

(REDUNDANCY NOTICE: For fuller listings of these and other jobs, don't
forget to check the Jobs binder in the Greenberg Room, and the file
jobslist.txt' on the CSLI directory /user/linguistics.)


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                    -\-/-\ CONSERVE DISK SPACE \-/-\-

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