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THE STANFORD QUIZ BOWL CLUB LEXICON

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ass sports - Non-mainstream sports, such as rifling or curling. Eric Mayefsky is your man for ass sports (questions).

to bagel - To score zero points on a bonus. Yummy bagel!

best player EVER! - Mock-praise applied to a player who answers a question so bleedingly obvious that it should have been answered twenty words ago. More generally, "best X player ever" where X is the question's topic. Typically the answering player is by no means an expert in field X. Example: Calling Eric. S. the "best trash player EVER!"

boni - The fancy-pants plural of "bonus".

clock-killing neg - A deliberate neg at the end of the game when your team is slightly ahead, ensuring victory by using up the last few seconds of clock. Mayefsky's standard answer for these is "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying", which is long enough to kill some time but falls short of being completely obnoxious.

defensive bonus - A bonus which you bagel (or do very poorly on) but which the other team might have thirtied. (See "bagel" and "to thirty".)

dinosaur - An older player, especially a grad student, who seems to have been playing forever. It is not clear why, but most dinosaurs seem old and bitter.

Dollar values are doubled! - A jubilant cry indicating the doubling of points on subsequent tossups after all the bonuses in a practice packet have been read. This allows you to "thirty" a tossup (by powering it) and to "neg 10". Strictly speaking, dollar values are in fact doubled, from zero dollars to zero times two dollars.

epsilon - An infinitesimal amount, awarded in jest for an almost-correct answer (or sometimes, just because the moderator likes you or approves of your t-shirt). Some silly moderators will use epsilon to break ties in practice. (Thus, a score of 200-plus-epsilon beats a score of 200). Note that the sum of any finite number of epsilons is epsilon.

Eric's razor - The theory, popularized by Eric Mayefsky, that the only possible answer you can think of that seems to fit the question is the right answer. Essentially the opposite of being burdened by knowledge, the razor proves especially useful when playing intramural and invitational-level packets as well as CBI.

Ford Foundation - To have a genuine, real-life connection with a trivia answer, which should (but often doesn't!) allow you to get the question right. Usage: "Dammit! My Dad used to work for the Ford Foundation!"

for one point - A phrase which precedes a bleedingly obvious clue. 1-pointers sometimes appear in trash packets, but they may be jokingly added by smarmy moderators.

to get academicked - To get excited about an apparent trash question, only to be broken-hearted when it turns out to have an academic answer.

to get trashed - To get your hopes up (and especially to neg with an academic answer) on a question which turns out to be trash. This often happens when a fascinating person you've never heard of turns out to be from the Simpsons.

hell on earth - Playing the game of quiz bowl, according to dinosaur (q.v.) and stat-guru Chris Sewell

I heard there was a tossup! - A statement made to get the game back on track. Often used by people laboring under the incorrect assumption that practice is about reading questions, rather than bantering and making jokes.

Labe Incoln - A spoonerized 16th American president.

Noodle Planet - Heaven, or our favorite restaurant in LA, serving yummy Asian food of all kinds, including the famous peanut smoothie. Be warned that Noodle Planet, like Heaven, is cash only.

ruggedize - To make a buzzer system more hardy, as by adding a plug and socket for the power cord so that nincompoops who trip over it don't destroy the whole unit. Sue Kayton ruggedized our Judges after three units went down in one tournament.

Seth-y goodness - That ineffable positive quality which accompanies a packet whose authors include Seth Teitler. Coined by Joon Pahk.

shame - A feeling of humiliation, which actually does not exist. As we see whenever someone answers a question on Rainbow Brite or porn, there is no shame, only points.

so hot! - What quiz bowl guys are, according to a certain Stanford reject (q.v.)

space - Where they can't hear you neg.

Stanford reject - What a certain Berkeley player insists on repeatedly reminding everyone she is. God bless the admissions department.

to thirty - To score 30 points on a bonus. Usage: "Yep, we thirtied it." In general, to n a bonus is to score n points on it.

trash - A format in which the questions are all pop-culture and sports. For some inexplicable reason, people seem to like this dreck.

travel in packs - What 30-20-10s do, according to Eric Mayefsky. This alleged herd behavior has not been scientifically established.

to vulture - To buzz in before the end of the question when the other team has already negged. This is likely to piss off your teammates, especially if you get it wrong. Vulturing may cause the moderator to make a bird noise and perhaps even flap his wings. The Berkeley team prefers the cooler-sounding synonym "to swoop."

wind-up - To theatrically move your arm in a big circle, before buzzing. This might be fun to do on clock-killing negs (q.v.).



Email us with any additions to the lexicon.

See also Berkeley's lexicon.