The Stanford Women’s alumni returned to The Farm ready to celebrate the achievements of Vix Folayan ’06 at Rio 2016. The alumni taught a lesson to the undergrads as they showed they had too much fire power for the inexperienced team. The match was played in great spirits as the undergrads kept looking for opportunities during the course of the four quarters but the alumni ran out victors.
Through the eyes of our undergrad – Emma Coleman:
It was a clear and sunny day when the rugbaes took to the field. The wind whipped the smell of burgers from the grill out onto the pitch in a taunting manner. The sun swooped its way through the sky to beat down on the ladies in White as Richard rallied the troops, stating, “yes, these alumnae are good, but they’re old! They don’t have the stamina to keep up with you!” Ohoho Richard. Funny joke indeed, you tricky minx.
For though the ladies in White pushed valiantly on against the beating tide led by their former comrades, the day resulted in a loss. 54 to 5 to be exact. The most stinging betrayals were scored by Chelsea in the eighth minute of the game, and Maya in the sixteenth. Those traitors pretended to be on our side a few mere months ago, learning our ways and plays, only to stab us in the back, or in the appendix, as TayTay experienced. Shameless apostates.
To conclude the game, Josh delivered unto Vix a plaque commemorating her achievements as a rugby goddess, and she was then ascended into heaven on a chariot of angels singing the SWR fight song in perfect vibrato.
Reviews of the match are as follows:
“I feel like I was assaulted with a baseball bat EOM” –Hooker Kathryn Treder
“I never want to be hit by an Olympian again. I hate everything.” –Number 8, Michaela Derby
“Where is my appendix.” –Number 9, Olivia Tayback
A joyous day for all, truly. We thank the alumnae for their continued presence to keep us humble and full of aspiration to one day be as good as them.