Bumper Stickers are a form of personal advertising. Living the modern urbanized world, we are all subject to being each other's captive audience. For myself, I avoid such personal advertising, hoping to leave the void of information as my own personal statement.
I have to credit some others among us for having something useful to advertise. Her are some of my favorites:
This one was on the rear bumper of a little old lady's car. She was obviously past retirement age, and didn't mind that at all! "Over the hill? What, where...? Huh? Duh, I don't remember any Hill?"
I never saw this one, and it's time has past. I'll include it anyhow: "55 Wastes Lives". The idea is that a typical person drives say ~50 miles per day on the freeway. This person loses ~8 minutes per day traveling 55 MPH vs 65 MPH. If I limit the scope to California having a population of say ~50 million typical people, this equates to ~800 years of time wasted (throughout California) per day from driving too slow. With a typical lifespan of ~80 years, this is ~10 lives per day lost due to the reduced speedlimit. CHP statistics showed improvement in fatality rates due to the reduced speedlimit more like ~10 lives saved per week...at best. Clearly; "55 Wastes Lives".
I'm one those people who drives rather slow. For those of you who drive rather fast, we are your antithesis, and many of you have personal advertising stickers to make us aware of that. One of us slow pokes had a sticker for you: "I'm not in your hurry"
I also liked the one: "Too slow? To bad!", as well as: "Fear What?".
I see a lot of people who use these advertising stickers to avoid trouble with the Police. Stickers like "Back the Badge" and "Dare to Resist Drugs and Violence" are a sure sign of a Driver with one or two felony "strikes".
I have to hand it to one guy who had a cunning and bold statement to make. Lost among a bunch of other weird stickers on the back of his Back Country Hunting Jeep was another "Dare" sticker, which to the naked glance looked the same as the "Dare" sticker above. Truly a test of one's powers of observation: "Dare to keep Cops off Donuts". This guy also had the best Biker Culture advertisement I have seen: "Loud Pipes Save Lives".
Before leaving the "Dare" front, I have to mention a "Dare to..." sticker which wasn't a sticker at all. It was actually a T-Shirt worn by a rather old Punk Rock Celebrity: "Dare to keep Kids out of Church".
I feel sorry for some parents. Here I see this Dad with a proudly displayed sticker "Proud of my JFK Effort Honor Student". I suppose that the third year of sixth grade earns a student "Effort Honor".
I've been tempeted to make one of these stickers for myself. I was so pleased to see someone had chosen exactly the words I wanted to use: "My Kid beat up your Honor Student".
Another favorite sticker was also one which tested the advertisee's powers of observation. In the all-too-familiar font and style of the pro-skateboarding classic, this one said: "Smoking Crack is not a Crime".
It's easy to for me to relate to this sticker: "Don't interrupt me, can't you see I am talking to myself?"
I liked the person who had a rear end full of stickers demonstrating that she was struggling with the fact that modern mainstream media refuses to perform any informatively useful function, favoring sensationalism over issues of substance. One of her stickers was an excellent twist on a popular standard sticker; which said "Televise Your Kill!"
Ever since those militant fanatics highjacked airplanes and use them as terrorist weapons in New York and Washington, the bumper sticker mania has never quite been the same. I was wondering how long it would take to get back to normal. Finally -- I saw the first sign of normality in the form of the following sticker: "The world is going to Hell, and I am doing my part".
I saw this one on a little car parked in a sleepy little town way off in the Sierras: "I was out of sick leave, so I called in Dead."
It's no surprise that the guy who had this bumper sticker looked like a tattoo artist. Goes with the spikey-purple-hair. "Everything I know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains."
The Abortion Issue seems to be forefront on the mind of many Personal Advertisers. Usually it's pretty clear where the Advertiser stands on the Abortion Issue (like anybody else cares about their position). Here's one which refreshingly escapes demonstrating the Advertiser's position on the Abortion Issue: "Life: A terminal sexually transmitted disease for which there is no cure."
This person has a sensible view of ecology: "Keep the Earth clean, it's not Uranus."
The car I saw this one on actually had Florida license plates. The sticker said: "Don't blame me, I vote for Nader."