Just how tough is Mike Hussey?

I have not seen Bradman. But [there was once a time when]


74.38 in ODIs
79.85 in Tests



and yet, this is not why he is called Mr. Cricket! (For the answer, click on the right-hand picture.)

Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236.
It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Mike Hussey".

Since then, people all over the world have come up with other answers (some of them applied to Chuck Norris as well). Here's a few:

Hussey and the elements:

When Mike Hussey goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets Mike Hussey-ed.

Mike Hussey doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the hell out of the way.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Mike Hussey on-drive.

When Mike Hussey does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Mike Hussey can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the hell Mike Hussey is.

Krakatoa was the aftermath of Mike Hussey eating Nachos.

Life forms:

The dinosaurs messed with Mike Hussey. Once.

Thousands of years ago Mike Hussey came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the Arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its descendants still have white hair.

Once a cobra bit Mike Hussey's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Mike Hussey has allowed to live.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Mike Hussey can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Mike Hussey has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Mike Hussey.

Mike Hussey has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

Hussey in the world:

Mike Hussey ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

When Mike Hussey eats Mexican food, the chillies sweat.

Mike Hussey and Shane Warne walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Mike Hussey.

Mike Hussey can speak Braille.

Superman owns a pair of Mike Hussey pyjamas.

James Cameron wanted Mike Hussey to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Hussey around the house:

Mike Hussey can slam a revolving door.

Mike Hussey's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

Mike Hussey's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Mike Hussey.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Mike Hussey and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Mike Hussey grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Mike Hussey sleeps with a night light. Not because Mike Hussey is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Mike Hussey.

Mike Hussey doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Mike Hussey does not sleep. He waits.


Mike Hussey played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Mike Hussey. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

When Mike Hussey exercises, the machine gets stronger.

Mike Hussey's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Mike Hussey owns the greatest Poker Face of all time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

Mike Hussey sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled cricketing ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Mike slog swept the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Miscellaneous (NOT the last category!):

Mike Hussey counted to infinity - twice.

Mike Hussey divides by zero.

Mike Hussey invented every colour. Except pink. (pick an actor) invented pink.

It takes Mike Hussey 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in (pick a country!), Mike Hussey lives in Australia.

Mike Hussey's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

two of my favourites -

Mike Hussey can kill two stones with one bird. (This was before Angry Birds came on the market!)

The only time Mike Hussey was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

And finally - cricket!

Contrary to popular belief, cricket is really a one man game; Mike Hussey allows 10 others to play only because it amuses him.

Mike Hussey doesn't believe in England.

and last but not the least -

Cricket Australia wants to call itself Mrs. Cricket.

Postscript. Did you note that you could not pick Australia as the country?!