Late Summer Linguistic Levity
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad,
I take something for it.
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you’re naked in church.
Welcome to Utah. Set your watch back 20 years
In just two days from now,
tomorrow will be yesterday.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.
I am a nobody
Nobody is perfect
Therefore I am Perfect
I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
When you work here,
you can name your own salary.
I named mine, “Fred”.
Money isn’t everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.