A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around,
looking for valuables; and when he picked up a CD player to place in his
sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, 'Jesus is
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a
vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began
searching for more valuables.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a
bell he heard, 'Jesus is watching you.' Freaked out, he shined his light
around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a
Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot..
'Yep,' the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed . 'What kind of people would name a bird "Moses"?'
'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler "Jesus".'
Tired of those TV Drug Ads?
Many of us are getting pretty tired of those TV ads trying to persuade you to
persuade your doctor to prescribe some drug X. Here's the latest:
For events farther in the future consult the Upcoming Events Page
FRIDAY, 30 JANUARY
MONDAY, 2 FEBRUARY
THURSDAY, 5 FEBRUARY
No Speech Lunch this week
John Burgess (Princeton)
"Frege: impredicative fixes"
12:00pm, Cordura 100
Giorgio Magri (MIT)
"A Theory of Individual Level Predicates Based on Blind Mandatory Scalar
3:30pm, Bldg. 460, Room 126
5:00pm, the lounge
FRIDAY, 6 FEBRUARY
Stanford Psychology of Language Tea (SPLAT)
Jen Hay (University of Canterbury)
"Usage-based representations: Evidence from New Zealand English /r/-sandhi"
Tea at 5:15pm, talk at 5:30pm in MJH 126
MONDAY, 9 FEBRUARY
TUESDAY, 10 FEBRUARY
UPCOMING EVENTS (always under construction)
LINGUISTIC DEPARTMENT EVENTS PAGE
Got broader interests? The New Sesquipedalian recommends reading or even
subscribing to the CSLI Calendar, available HERE.
WHAT'S HAPPENING AT UC SANTA CRUZ?
Susan Carey (Harvard Psychology)
"The Origin of Concepts"
3:30pm, Building 420, Room 041
Reception for Susan Carey
5:00-6:00, Psychology Lounge (1st floor of Building 420)
WHAT'S GOING ON AT UC BERKELEY?
The Stanford Blood Center
is reporting a shortage of types
O+, O-, and A-. For
an appointment, visit http://bloodcenter.stanford.edu/
or call 650-723-7831.
It only takes an hour of your time and you get free cookies. And the Blood Center recently got a new bloodmobile. Check it out