Copyright 1999. Rights to reproduction in all media are the property of the author.

In memory of Mickey

September 26, 1975 - August 30, 1985

Awful dog, you came so close but never made it to your tenth

A note to the user: you may choose to read this memoir in one of three ways. The first, and preferred, way is to follow the order given in the table of contents. The individual sections are presented there in alphabetical order, and if you opt (hopefully) for this mode of reading, at the end of each section click the button marked CONTINUE-ALPHA. Along the way you will be encouraged within particular sections to click buttons referring to earlier or later sections; if you follow these references you should click RETURN TO . . . at the end of the section in order to get back to alphabetical order. The second, and admittedly quicker and easier, mode of reading is designed for people who like their stories told in chronological order and without digressions along the way. This is a strictly bare-bones approach that omits the postmodern paraphernalia intrinsic to the first mode. If you opt for this mode, at the end of each section click CONTINUE-CHRON. Those who insist on the second mode should not click cross-references within a section, else they'll be returning to sections that will destroy any sense of the chronology on which they have come to depend. The third mode is designed for those who unrepentantly eschew both narrative and any form of language that makes claims to transparency. If you opt for this third mode, at the end of this section click CONTINUE-POSTMOD. Like those who choose the second mode, you should avoid clicking cross-references, else these will land you smack in the narrative you were trying to avoid in the first place.